No Sale here
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends yesterday. Truth be told, this is my favorite holiday of the year. Why? It is a time for me to reflect on the year with gratitude. Don't get me wrong, the aroma of turkey roasting in the oven isn't bad, either. However, the time spent with people you care about and the experiences you share matter most to me.
As I prepared to write this week's post, I wondered what I'd write about. Do I write about my take on Black Friday sales? How about three quick steps you can take to save money this Christmas? Or, how about an expose on how the holiday is just one big commercial? No, none of those silly examples will work for this year. My focus will be on gratitude and doing what you prefer in the way you prefer to do it.
Hang with me here. Gratitude, doing what I prefer, and then what? Try this. Do not judge yourself once you complete this approach. In other words, read my examples and apply them to your life.
Look at the results, and do not judge your actions or those in your life. Sounds simple, right?
E-Motion
So, let's start with gratitude. What is the definition of gratitude? Gratitude is the quality or condition of being thankful and appreciative and showing a readiness to recognize and acknowledge the kindness, favors, or benefits received from others.
It involves a positive emotional response to the actions or generosity of someone else and a recognition of the positive aspects of one's life. Furthermore, gratitude comes in words, actions, or attitudes that convey appreciation and acknowledgment for the goodwill, help, or positive experiences others provide.
Negative = Positive
As a result, practicing gratitude has been associated with numerous psychological and social benefits, contributing to overall well-being and positive relationships.
However, not all gratitude is about the positive experiences we have faced. I also have given thanks to the jerky boss who made my experience at a job so uncomfortable that it made me want to look for new opportunities. If not for his poor behavior and lack of compassion, I might still work in a job I didn't prefer.
Or, how about the time when my school advisor suggested that college should not be in my plans because my high school grades were not conducive to excelling in higher education? I could have moved into self-doubt and compliance at that moment, but I chose to prove I could get a college degree. Consequently, I did graduate and receive a degree. I'm thankful I did not heed this person's advice and trusted what I already knew about my abilities.
You such a jerk - Thanks!
Consequently, my college education was a turning point for me. As a result, I felt a great sense of accomplishment and leveraged that experience into many other challenges in my work and personal life. To clarify, I don't believe college is for everyone. It is just that we know what scares us the most. At the time, I feared that I wasn't smart, and college frightened me more than anything else. Subsequently, it turned out that I just learned differently than the way traditional schools teach. If it hadn't been for the nay-sayers and my supporters, I might be in a very different place today. Above all, I know I would not be writing stories for you today.
So, I give thanks for all the wonderful people and things in my life, but I also appreciate the difficult people and situations I've experienced. Now, let's talk about how we deal with preferences.
Let's use the above illustrations for this. For example, the boss who was very indignant to me while I was selling consulting for a major corporation. He constantly told me my performance wasn't where he wanted it to be. To be clear, he expected me to achieve at least 100% of my quota, and I was at or near 85 - 90% the past couple of years. As a result, he would want to travel with me to my accounts and watch me work. Moreover, he would critique me after each call with passive-aggressive language. As you can imagine, I was tired of his constant criticism and lack of support from him.
Okay, Einstein!
One time, we were sitting in the lobby of Discover Card, waiting to go into a sales call, and he leaned over to me and misquoted Albert Einstein. He said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." At first, I wanted to punch him in the face. However, cooler heads prevailed. I did something I had never done before: I actually listened to his words and not the sarcasm he intended. Therefore, I understood that the quote emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes (circumstances) and adapting one's approach to achieve different outcomes.
As a result, the mistake or circumstance wasn't a negative; it was information. Working for a man without compassion or grace was not what I preferred. Meanwhile, I also observed him at client meetings and noticed he had little or nothing to add to the conversation. Moreover, I asked what he suggested I do to achieve the desired quota. His response was to work harder. That was all this man had to share. It was apparent he was not happy with his job either.
Feel your Way
Subsequently, I chose to work smarter, not harder, which involved connecting with a company that aligned with my excitement for helping solve problems. I don't want to sugarcoat the story, but after a few attempts, I found a company I could align with. I did exceptionally well with my job and connected with the management in a way I had never done before. It gave me the confidence and experience to create my own company. I'm so happy I worked with that man. I now know that I could have never made that statement before I did this work. Trust me.
Finally, let's examine the term judgment. Judgment refers to the ability to make decisions or come to sensible conclusions after carefully evaluating a situation, person, or circumstance. It involves the capacity to analyze information, weigh different perspectives, and form an opinion or decision based on reason, discernment, and often a set of moral or ethical principles.
Furthermore, judgment is a cognitive process that plays a crucial role in problem-solving, decision-making, and assessing the appropriateness or value of actions. So, it can be influenced by personal experiences, knowledge, and the ability to evaluate information critically.
You be the Judge
Now, let's examine how we tend to judge ourselves. Again, I'll use one of my examples above. I could have gotten mad at the school counselor when he told me to make other plans for my future. Or, I could have judged myself for being a poor student and not doing the work required to go to college. Trust me, I did judge my lack of ability to read and write as well as the kids in my class. I understood that I was different. However, for one reason or another, I knew I could learn. Consequently, I did not judge the counselor or myself; I just felt the sensation of dis-ease in my gut and decided to attend a community college.
Furthermore, I could have judged my boss for his poor actions and lack of guidance. Moreover, I could have believed that I was performing poorly relative to my peers and felt less than others. But, I decided it was time to find something more suitable for my skills and preferences.
This may surprise You!
In conclusion, you can continue to use your thinking brain to make decisions or come to sensible conclusions after carefully evaluating a situation, person, or circumstance. Or you can be with the uncomfortable circumstance, feel the dis-ease, and not judge it. Once you do this, something magical happens. You have a sense of clarity, and you take action. As a result, you get to see if you prefer this new experience. If not, rinse and repeat.
Maybe Einstein was right. Doing the same thing over and over is insanity if you are not including gratitude, preference, and non-judgment. Be thankful for the nonsense. It is there to remind you what you do and do not prefer. And that is something I can be thankful for.
Happy Holidays!
